No more Chewbacca legs for me
Here's the blog post you've been waiting for: The story about how and why I shaved my legs.
Let me explain. In this new era of manscaping, about half of men partially or fully shave their legs. And most serious cyclists fully shave. But why me?
After all, my legs are bowed, porcelain white, and covered with scars from five knee surgeries, and multiple falls and bumps. Why oh why shave off the shrubbery and reveal the ugly landscape beneath?
Well, a nurse started it. I had surgery on my right knee a few weeks ago to remove torn cartilage. Before surgery, a nurse shaved me from mid-calf to mid-thigh. As a result, I looked like I was wearing a hair boot on my right leg. Horrified at this odd look, I shaved the entire leg.
Once I had done this, I realized quickly I had to shave my other leg.
As I said, this is also a cycling thing. Real cyclists shave their legs, they claim, for better aerodynamics, to make it easier to get a massage, or to make recovery from skin abrasions -- road rash -- from crashes less painful. Knowing cyclists, I'd say it's really more about showing off their sculpted legs.
Anyway, I want to be a real cyclist so shaving seemed like a good idea, until I did it. Here are a few things I didn't think of:
- I had no idea I needed to use shaving cream. I went into the shower and just started shaving. My wife later diagnosed me with a bad case of "razor burn."
- I didn't know you had to do this at least once a week. I thought like, once a month. How do women do this all the time?
- You can't possibly get every hair.
- Warning, graphic content to follow: Ingrown hairs.
As for my legs, they now look like your grandfather's legs when you visited him in the hospital or nursing home. They are so shiny and white that they could replace the beacon in Hudson-Athens Lighthouse. Plus, it hasn't made me faster on the bike. Still, I plan to keep shaving for the rest of the summer.
I have to go now. I am going to have a bath and shave my legs.